


i’ll do better.

by sophenia



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Break Up, Flirty Choi Yeonjun, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Choi Soobin, M/M, Sad Choi Soobin, Sad Ending, Soft Choi Yeonjun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:35:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23273317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophenia/pseuds/sophenia
Summary: i will always hold you close,but i will learn to let you go.i promise i’ll do better.i will rearrange the stars,pull 'em down to where you are.i promise, i’ll do better.– light, sleeping at lastyeonbin au whereit all starts like this,and it all ends like this.
Relationships: Choi Soobin & Choi Yeonjun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 11
Kudos: 37





	i’ll do better.

**Author's Note:**

> ....audrey this is all ur fault

it all starts like this. 

it all starts with one encounter. with a blue haired boy with a dazzling smile, basketball in one hand, walking into the florist near his house. 

“hi, anyone here?” yeonjun looks around the empty counter, checks his watch.  _ 5:30PM _ . sweat is trickling down his neck and he’s panting. it’s a bit of a rush. but he’s good, he’s not late. 

it’s his mom’s birthday today, and he knows, he knows. flowers are too much of a generic gift, and his mom deserves so much more. but he’s already flooded with projects and assignments on the daily, and he only wishes he had more time to prepare something special.

_ it’ll do for now, at least _ , he thinks. 

“sorry, coming!” he hears from a distance, seconds before he sees a pink-haired boy running out from the back of the shop, a bouquet of roses in his hand. his hair is slightly ruffled, his apron is undone, and his glasses are perched on the edge of his nose, on the verge of falling off. 

“sorry, there was a last-minute order and these roses were an absolute pain to handle,” he mutters, smiling apologetically back at yeonjun. “how may i help you?”

“...hello?”

yeonjun startles – he hadn’t realised he’d been staring. “oh, sorry. um, could i get some lilies? just, any small bouquet will do.”

the boy’s face drops immediately. “oh, i’m sorry for your loss,” he says it so empathetically, yeonjun feels sad for a moment even though he’s confused. 

“sorry? why?”

the boy seems taken aback by his question, like it was an obvious answer. “you’re getting these for... a funeral, right?”

yeonjun laughs comically. “no, not at all! it’s my mum’s birthday, so i just wanted something nice to gift her,” he explains. 

the boy’s face flushes. yeonjun thinks it’s cute – _he’s_ cute. “oh, i’m so sorry. lilies are actually commonly requested for funerals, so i just–“

now it’s yeonjun’s turn to flush, shaking his head at his own mistake.

“would you like to see what other flowers we have? perhaps they’d be more fitting,” the boy suggests. 

and so they spend the next 10 minutes looking through the other flowers in the store – at least, the boy does. he explains what some of the flowers mean, what the different colours represent, and the entire time yeonjun just nods. 

he realises he’s not focusing on the flowers, but he doesn’t really care. he’s also about to be late for dinner with his mom, but. he doesn’t really care. 

“so, i guess these would be nice. what do you think?” the boy asks once he’s done. 

“uh, yeah. sure. could you wrap them up for me?” yeonjun’s not entirely sure what flowers he was referring to, but he trusts he has good taste.

“with a pink rose at the side too!” he adds on belatedly. 

the boy nods, saying something about 5 minutes while rushing to the back of store to prepare his bouquet. 

5 minutes pass, and the boy walks out to the counter again where yeonjun is waiting. “thanks for waiting!” he greets cheerfully. “that’ll be 20 dollars total.” 

as yeonjun hands over the bills, the boy continues to make small talk. “so you’re going out for dinner with your mom? and... your girlfriend..?” 

the corner of yeonjun’s lips twitch.  with his girlfriend, sure. “something like that, yeah,” he mutters. 

“thank you so much again, hope you have a good dinner!” the boy greets for the last time, as yeonjun picks up his bouquet and gets ready to leave. 

“hey, you forgot the rose!” 

yeonjun turns around, this time flashing a wide smile. “no, they’re for you,” he says, and walks out of the store. 

it all starts like this. 

a blue haired boy walking out of the florist, basketball in one hand, bouquet of flowers in another. big smile on his face. 

and a pink haired boy standing behind the counter, deep red staining his cheeks. a pink rose in one hand, and a small note in another. 

_ no girlfriend tonight for dinner, but if you’d like we could go out for dinner someday.  _

_ +82 34 3748 2748 - yeonjun :) _

•

it all starts like this, but. 

it all ends like this. 

it all ends with the closing of doors. well, one door. 

it’s 3 years down the road. 

1 year into their relationship, yeonjun and soobin had moved in together into a small apartment near their university. it was tough at the start, but they learned to become each other’s support. 

it was scary, but they managed to navigate the rocky waters. 

2 years into their relationship, things started changing. maybe it was just university, or maybe it was them. no matter how many times they tried to talk, tried to work it out, they couldn’t deny that things just didn’t feel the same. 

but it was alright. it was all part of their journey, part of the process. the love was still there, and everything was alright. 

3 years into their relationship, everything started to break down. 

neither of them could pinpoint exactly where it started going wrong, but neither of them could say they didn’t see this coming. 

the past 3 years of memories run through yeonjun’s head, as he tries to make sense of it all, as he holds back his tears. 

he’s sitting at the dining table, watching soobin collect every little piece of himself he had left around the apartment over the years. 

“i just... i don’t know anymore. it’s so tiring to be here everyday, i don’t even know how to feel,” he hears soobin’s voice tremble as he says this. his heart cracks just a little bit more. 

“soobin, please,” he manages. it’s hard to speak when his throat feels so restricted, like his vocal cords are closing in on themselves. 

“we can try again, please. you know i love you,” he tries to hold back a sob, but it escapes anyway. 

“how many times have we been through this, jjun? try, try, try, haven’t we been trying for too long?” soobin responds, still busying with his bags. 

maybe he’s imagining it, but yeonjun still hears a tinge of softness in soobin’s voice. the softness he’d grown so used to, the softness that never failed to spark warmth in his heart. 

but that now has been replaced by a cold, harsh voice. one he barely recognises, and it crushes his heart. 

he doesn’t say anything. he can’t. 

“don’t you think we deserve better? don’t you think we deserve to be happy?” soobin continues. 

_ but better is with you. happiness is with you,  _ yeonjun thinks. but he doesn’t say it out.  _ he’s leaving anyway .  _

“i’m sorry jjuni. you know i am. we’ve been through this too,” soobin lets out a sigh as he gets up, gathers all his stuff. 

yeonjun sees it now. sees the bags under soobin’s eyes, sees how thin he’s become. he looks so tired, so worn out. yeonjun thinks of the bright, bubbly soobin of his memories, and his heart sinks. 

this time, he doesn’t even try anymore. the tears escape and he lets out a small gasp.  _ i’m sorry, i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry, _ he thinks.  _ i’m sorry i did this to you, i’m sorry i couldn’t be better. i’m sorry i only weighed you down, down, down. you deserve to be happy. i want to see you happy, i want to- _

he feels a warmth engulf him. when he lets out a shocked gasp, he realises he hasn’t been as silent as he thought. 

he doesn’t want to, wishes he could choose not to, but he sobs into soobin’s chest.  _ for the last time _ _,_ he thinks. 

“i’m sorry. you know i still love you too, and i’m so thankful for everything, jjuni,” soobin mumbles into yeonjun’s hair, rubbing his back.

it hurts to see him in this state. it hurts even more to know he’s the one doing this to him. but it had to be done. 

“you changed my life, and my days were always brighter with you. you know this. but some things just don’t work out, and i’m sorry it had to be this way.”

by now, the hardness of soobin’s voice is gone.

it’s the same warmth, the same softness that yeonjun knows, that yeonjun had wished for. 

except this time it still hurts. 

they stay like that for a while, and yeonjun wishes he could just stay in that moment forever. wishes he could stop all time, and imprint every detail of soobin, every memory of him into his mind. wishes he could stay by his side like this forever. 

tears are still streaming down his face, and his breath is ragged when he feels soobin pull away. he thought it was impossible, but he feels another sharp pain in his heart. it hurts, it hurts. 

yeonjun brings his legs up, hiding his head in his knees. he tries to breathe, tries to count  1, 2, 3 . he tries to block out everything, wishes he could just fall asleep in this moment so he doesn’t have to hear soobin walk out that door. 

“thank you again for everything, jjuni. i mean it. take care, okay?” soobin’s voice is so soft he almost whispers. 

yeonjun feels a light kiss on the top of his head, hears the sound of keys being left on the tabletop. his heart is breaking, cracking, shattering. 

_ this is it. _

he tells himself to keep his head down, doesn’t want his last memory of soobin to be him leaving. 

and so he doesn’t see, but soobin stands at the doorway, looks back at yeonjun,  _ his _ yeonjun.

his yeonjun, who was always the life of the party wherever he went. his yeonjun who was as bright as the flowers he loved, who filled up all the empty spaces in his life with love. 

_god_ , he can’t believe he’s the reason why yeonjun is like that right now. 

the tears almost spill over, but he keeps them in. he needs to do this, he thinks.  _ it’s for the better _ _,_ he thinks. 

there’s a small smile on soobin’s face.  _ i’ll miss you _ _._ he always thinks, but he never says it. he knows he can’t. 

“goodbye, jjuni. thank you again. i love you,” soobin tries his best to hide the way his voice shakes.

soobin walks out, grips the handle and closes the door. 

yeonjun hears the door shut, lets out a deep breath, and lets the tears come. 

it all starts like this, 

and it all ends like this. 


End file.
